Special Babe
Right now I just want to scream cry, kill someone and then go and die under my bed or something. I'm so frustrated on my life right now. Problems problems problems and even more problems. I stressed. Like really stressed. My heart burn is starting to check in on me again and my stomach is a big black diamond right now. You could think that Life would give me a break soon, but I really don't believe that right now. I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode any time now, and taking every one around with me when I go. I just hope the right persons are around me, the one that my anger and frustration is to blame. But I doubt that too. I won't be that lucky. No I'm not negative, I'm a realistic and a cynic, and this is what life have learned by experience. The hard part about it all is that I can't really feel joy about the spring coming, or anything, cause the stress are clouding my blue sky. But I will have good faith. At least until I snap.
When all this is going on, I try to find small pockets of air to breath. like my birthday present that came little to early.
(my supercute birthday present from Netherlands http://lajvio.deviantart.com)
And that I once a week take some time to my self with a long shower and a facial mask. Just small things that makes me go another day without a mental breakdown, and that makes me breathe another breath.
And stuff likes this make my day too. I'm the "special babe" mentioned in the info text and the one that made the request. People may think this suck, but I still love it, cause he called me a special babe.
Things like this sure can make my day. I'm a simple kind of girl that way: done right even the simplest things can make my day.
It looks like I'm gonna be here over my birthday. I wasn't able to take a week at my parents house, which I kinda had half looked forward to. Being able to get away from a cloudy sky for some days, but no. I think I will miss my opportunity to hug with my fat cat the most.
One thing I really have been thinking on lately is dying my hair to blond. I don't really know why I want to be blond, I have never liked that color on my self, but suddenly I just want to do it. Or shave it of. But I vote for the blond alternative here. And I would love to have really really blond hair, almost white. And long and curly. But me blond. Have to think of that a little more I think. Blond is a big step for me.
It's five a clock in the morning right now, and I really should be sleeping right now, but am I sleeping? No. And I didn't sleep last night either. And not much the night before that. My sleeping rhythm is totally off right now. I think it has something to do with my stressed out situation. I can only hope it will be better soon.
But I will crawl under my bed cover now, hopefully get some sleep and then looking forward to Sci-Fi Friday on TV. It's the small simple stuff that makes me breath. And a cool video that calles me "Special babe" ^^
When all this is going on, I try to find small pockets of air to breath. like my birthday present that came little to early.
(my supercute birthday present from Netherlands http://lajvio.deviantart.com)
And that I once a week take some time to my self with a long shower and a facial mask. Just small things that makes me go another day without a mental breakdown, and that makes me breathe another breath.
And stuff likes this make my day too. I'm the "special babe" mentioned in the info text and the one that made the request. People may think this suck, but I still love it, cause he called me a special babe.
Things like this sure can make my day. I'm a simple kind of girl that way: done right even the simplest things can make my day.
It looks like I'm gonna be here over my birthday. I wasn't able to take a week at my parents house, which I kinda had half looked forward to. Being able to get away from a cloudy sky for some days, but no. I think I will miss my opportunity to hug with my fat cat the most.
One thing I really have been thinking on lately is dying my hair to blond. I don't really know why I want to be blond, I have never liked that color on my self, but suddenly I just want to do it. Or shave it of. But I vote for the blond alternative here. And I would love to have really really blond hair, almost white. And long and curly. But me blond. Have to think of that a little more I think. Blond is a big step for me.
It's five a clock in the morning right now, and I really should be sleeping right now, but am I sleeping? No. And I didn't sleep last night either. And not much the night before that. My sleeping rhythm is totally off right now. I think it has something to do with my stressed out situation. I can only hope it will be better soon.
But I will crawl under my bed cover now, hopefully get some sleep and then looking forward to Sci-Fi Friday on TV. It's the small simple stuff that makes me breath. And a cool video that calles me "Special babe" ^^
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